A few weeks ago I went to a bar after work with a couple of colleagues and ordered a delicious cocktail. It was the first time I’d had anything alcoholic in weeks (and prior to that months) and I figured I deserved a $15 cocktail – fortunately for me it was one of the best cocktails I’ve ever had the pleasure of drinking. As I sipped it I felt myself start to relax and by the time it was finished I was feeling calm, a pleasant numbness that made me care less about things that were happening.
Today I had my work Christmas party lunch at which I partook in 1.. 2.. many.. drinks and felt that same feeling, an absence of worry.
I once knew a guy who said he drank (and he drank a lot) because he liked the person he became when he was drunk. A person who was confident and lacking in the social anxiety that plagued him. Unfortunately, he never listened to everyone else who pointed out that he was a total dick when he was drunk and we preferred the person he was sober.
For me, and it doesn’t have to be a lot of drinks, one or two is fine, I like the freedom it gives me, freedom from the overworking of my brain on things that, ultimately, don’t matter.
Now, as I sit here, the effects of the day wear off and I wonder how I can achieve this same feeling without having a few drinks first.